Self reflection December 2017

December 10th, 2017
I am trying to learn to center myself and stop worrying so much
Sometimes it is good to be still and learn to listen to your truth in the silence.

I found out this past Tuesday that I don't need an operation that two doctors told me that I needed. I am both grateful and relieved of the 3rd medical opinion.

Always go with your instinct. Trust your gut.
It speaks to you but sometimes the noise is too loud and you miss it.
Don't miss it. Listen to it and change directions.

Korean woman barber for our hair! Yay!

I found this Korean woman who cuts Black hair in Daegu! She has been cutting all kinds of hair for over sixteen years. She used to be on a US military base until the high rent drove her off the base. Now she is right outside Camp Walker Gate 4. This woman is pretty good and knows what she is doing. I'm not sure if she does anything fancy but she gave a very clean cut and looked at ease while doing it. Her cuts were under $10 bucks, too. 

Just wanted to give her a shout-out because it is extremely difficult to find barbers or hair stylists here. If you are looking for a barber, give her a try. I hope she is still in business as you read this in the future. 

Dang, Teacher, how many times have you been scammed here?

Okay, in case you are a regular reader you will know by now that in my three years here I have been scammed three times. Not counting the old ladies who sell rotten fruits and vegetables to any foreigner who comes close to their little stands. Thieves all damn day, these old ladies are!

1st con
The narcissistic Nigerian businessman who accelerated our friendship, taking me out to dinner as friends, just to set me up to "borrow" money from me. He ended up paying me back only after I threatened to tell others that he had to borrow money from a low wage teacher.

2nd con
A Filipino woman who called herself my friend (for three years) sold me a damaged, used Samsung S6 phone for over $200 dollars. She pretended to buy it off the internet but in reality sold me her own phone that had a damaged board. I found out when the phone kept switching off and I took it to the Samsung service center. I called and asked her to give me the name of the "seller" and she bullsh@tted and gave me some fake story. I still speak with her but only casually. Once you show me who you are I ALWAYS believe you.

3rd con
The foreign American young woman who sold me the nasty, dirty, rusted rice cooker that was leaking brown water. Her husband faked and acted like he had to park in the middle of the street and hurry and give it to me so I would not have a change to really look at the rice cooker while he was in front of me. He even bought his kid to the drop-off for better effect. LOL. I still laugh at this trifling couple of nastiness. Ugh. Who is that damn trifling to sell someone a rusty, dirty @ss rice cooker and then deliver it in a blue garbage bag?

So there you have it. Three stories of me putting down my high @ss wall and letting people in and being taken for a ride down Con and Scam Street. LOL.

No more fake friends.
No more lending money to con artists
No more buying products off of fake friends who are building up your friendship just so they can lay the foundation of trust to betray when it benefits them.
No more dirty rice cooker transactions in the middle of a six lane avenue.

Honorable mention
My dentist of three years who told me I had to have a root canal and then spread the visits out over more than seven office visits. Then he tells me that I should get a gold cap because he can do more "treatment" on it and it will take three visits to put on one damn gold cap. SMH. I am currently in the process of trying to find a new dentist, one who is not trying to milk me dry.

LOL. A girl can only take so much, Korea.
Just stop!

(The best thing about these cons is that my family is here now so I no longer waste any energy on fake people who are just users and manipulators).

Don't sell me that JUNK. You are trifling.

As you may know, by now, most English teachers have one year contracts here. Some stay longer but most leave after 12 months in this country. When the teachers leave they usually post their stuff for sale in the fakebook teacher groups so they can get some of their money back. It is a great way to exchange products and everyone benefits. I've purchased many things over the three years here and have had no problems.

What I did NOT know is that many (damn near ALL) of the non-Western immigrants also sell used products in the groups under fake names. These people go through the garbage of the large apartment buildings and restaurants, get things that are thrown away and ship them back to their countries. There is no consideration of the safety and cleanliness of these electronic products and clothing. The only concern is to make a quick buck. 

Which is where I walk in. LOL. I did NOT know any of this and purchased a fan from a young woman in Gwangju from fakebook. I met her husband in USquare bus terminal and, even though I had requested a bag, he handed me a dirty fan with no bag. I thought it was strange and stated this to the young lady after I got home.  Okay, so the first time you fool me, shame on you, right? 
After that time then I'm the fool. 

So I still didn't know that they were selling garbage that they picked up. I stayed in touch with the young lady and was looking for a low budget rice cooker. She said she had one but sold it but had another one to sell to me. I know- the ol' switcheroo. She sent me a picture of a bigger one and said it was in good condition. It looked okay so I agreed to get it and pick it up on the same Sunday I would be in Gwangju for an English camp.

This is the funny part.
Her husband says he will meet me at Gwangju's USquare bus terminal but cannot find parking and has the kid in the car so he cannot stop. He parks on the divider in the middle of the main street outside of the bus terminal. He then crosses the taxi lane and hands me this big @ss blue garbage bag with an industrial, restaurant size rice cooker in it. I opened it up quickly confirm it is the rice cooker but also say to him, "Damn this is big. I did NOT know it was this big." He runs back to his car where his kid is in the car seat, in the car that is parked on the divider and drives off.

I get inside the bus terminal and fully open the bag. Inside is a dirty @ss rice cooker that is leaking brown water!! My son and I had to run and catch a taxi to pick something up downtown and return to catch a bus back to our city so I shoved the leaky garbage bag into a locker at the bus terminal, shake my head and we run to catch the cab. 

Long story short, the witch got me again for the last DAMN time. LOL- you gotta laugh at this sh@t.
This witch sold me a dirty @ss rice cooker that her husband picked up from the garbage and did not even bother to wipe it off or shake the leaky brown (rain?) water out of it. 
When I got home I sent her a message that the rice cooker was rusted and useless. She doubled down on her con game and denied it saying it was an expensive brand. Witch!! LOL! It was not worth the time or money to go back to her city to return it (basically, throw that garbage back in her face).

Only someone who is nasty and a low life con artist would be that damn trifling. 
That nasty @ss rice cooker did not even sleep in my house that night. 
I showed it to my hubby, he shook his head at me after he saw the nasty @ss brown water leaking from the rusty thing. Then I walked outside and put it next to our dumpster.
I really hope she chokes on the money she got from me.

So... I decided to stay in touch with her on fakebook. I want to watch to see what she post in the second hand groups. I want to see how dirty her products are and see if people respond to her sale posts. She has MANY names on fakebook. I guess when people report her for selling dirty garbage she just uses a different name. The funny thing is this young woman recently asked me for a business contact in west Africa. Witch, maybe you don't know this but I wouldn't give you a glass of water if you were dying of thirst. But I know karma is a b@tch.

Again, I hope you choke on the money you got from me. Real talk from New Jersey.

NO Chuseok gift for you, foreigner.

My job gave ALL the employees Chuseok gifts, even the old custodian lady. They didn't even bother to include me in the school's Chuseok gathering (snacks & gifts) on the Friday before the long holiday. I wonder sometimes how Koreans would deal with being ignored and "othered" in my home country. Damn, a sista didn't even get a can of delicious spam!!!😭😂😂

EDIT
My girlfriend suggested I go to the Principal's office after the holiday and say, with a sweet smile, "Good morning, I was looking at the Chuseok gifts everyone got and I forgot to pick up mine. Should I go to the admin office to pick mine up?" 😂  😂   a
That will make my point.
UPDATE to the edit
I decided NOT to bother.
Ain't nobody got time for dat!

Lapdance for the teacher

Soooooooo...on the last night of a 3 day field trip to Seoul, my son and other 6th grade boys were asked to compete by "dancing sexy" first with each other and THEN by giving a lapdance to the male homeroom teacher. My son refused and we both watched in horror while a room full of kids and seven adults cheered, laughed and amused themselves. The boys danced sexy on the seated teacher and the best sexy dancer won.
Naw, son. Not today, Satan, and not in a million years. 
GTFOH😲

Famous~est kid in Korea

Walking outside with my son has been interesting. There are some who want to touch his head or take his picture without permission. NO. and NO AGAIN. Neither of us are zoo animals walking around my town for your viewing pleasure. On the other hand, there are many people who smile when they see him because he is such a cute boy! I am walking the line and trying my best to make this a learning experience for him.

The Jackie Robinson of So Ko

My pre-teen son has integrated my main school!
First Black.
First American.
First Black American.
First foreigner.
You get the picture. We have had a few challenges so far...but we are managing.

Being the "first" anywhere will be a bit daunting but he is a smart boy with a good sense of humor and is able, like his Mommy, to laugh at the absurd. We laugh, shake our heads and then keep it moving. 

Such is life.

Views on current state of my home country

I keep smelling "weed" here...wtf?

Real talk~ Can someone PLEASE tell me what is that weed smell here?👀 
I smelled it, again, today at the bus stop in my small city.
It can't be marijuana, right? Asking for...myself. 😂 

I look it up. Moss phlox, skunk cabbage or Cleome (spider flower) all smell like cannabis. 


🤔I thought the senior citizens were getting high as hell.

Slowly losing my englishee...

Is anyone else losing their English here?
I forgot the word for "leaving the hospital" and wanted to go "tenting" this summer. 🙄The longer I am here speaking broken English, the more I lose the ability to speak in complete sentences with correct vocabulary.😂 Any other English teachers need Englishee lessons like me?

Smoke? Don't do it!

No passive~aggressiveness when it comes to the cigarette warnings, huh, Korea?
Just straight to the point with this image.
"If you smoke this will happen to you. So STOP!"

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In facebook jail...somebody post my bond!

Monday morning
8am
Monday morning So...I have been put in facebook jail for not using my real name on the site. Some jerk reported me after I rejected him (nicely). So they locked me out and want me to send them a government i.d. before I can get back in. For anyone wondering if fb owns your pictures, well, this is a perfect answer. HELL YEAH they own your sh@t. I have tons of pictures on there and have NO ACCESS unless I play by their rules. Even after you delete a picture fb still keeps that image. Basically once you post a pic it now belongs to them. 

So I am using this locked-out jail time to start doing productive things, like reading and figuring out what the hell I used to do before I came to Korea and started to waste my life on fb. Because of past stalking incidents in my life, I am reluctant to use my real name on there. I have no choice really. An option is to just open a new account but then I would lose ALL my pics. So I'll give myself a week and then decide. God knows I need to refocus on important things in my life instead of fakebook. If you know of any other way I can get around this, please post a suggestion. I tried to contact them but did not get a response.

signed inmate
123F@ckFB

10.30am
I am already missing vital information from being off of facebook for a few days. My co-teacher knocked on my door and told me that I was accepted to both of the JLP camps. My orientation will be in Damyang next Thursday. I had no idea because it was announced, where else? Fakebook. Sucks, so at least I know now and will make plans to attend. Only five more days to go.DAMN YOU FAKEBOOOOOOOK!!!!

Tears of loneliness

It is 7am on a Tuesday morning. I am crying because I am sad and lonely. Today is a national holiday and there is so much to do...but no one to do it with. Even the restaurants have a minimum of two people to eat. I just spent the entire, two full days of my weekend alone, cleaning, doing laundry, watching movies, skyping with family/friends from back home...basically being alone and trying to keep busy. 

What people don't tell you about living here is that the loneliness is sometimes overwhelming. Sure it would be easy to meet up with some fake friends to hang out with. But in the middle of hanging out with them you STILL FEEL LONELY. So why even waste the energy to be around people who only want an audience or people who want a foreigner friend and always takes selfies of you two together to post - even after you say you are not in the mood for pics. 

So I stay alone and try to keep busy but on a holiday during the middle of the week, you actually want to do something. Sigh. Sorry for the rare pity party.

I just really, really miss being loved at this very moment. 

Take the garbage out, honey, not in.

Korea recycles all (almost all) of her food waste. Every school, apartment building and office is required to put food waste in specific bins. CCTV makes sure you do that. Guess whose building does not have a food recycling bin? 

Guess who has to bring her food waste in a small, plastic bag to school three times a week to avoid getting fined? Yup, me. I bring my food garbage to school then try to remember to throw it away in the cafeteria's waste bin at lunchee time. You can only laugh at it.

Wrong bus

I got on the wrong bus today after leaving my 3rd school. Bought a ticket at Jungma bus terminal, thought I read the front of the bus correctly and twenty minutes later ended back at the bus terminal, in front of the same ticket clerk. LOL.

All I could do was laugh with her. Thank God, it was not a four hour trip. 

My bus driver, taking a smoke, before taking me right back to my initial stop.
Gotta love it.

Shrimp fries? Chicken fries? Really, BK?

Shrimp fries?
Chicken fries?
I had to try it. They were calling out my name.
What can I say? It was crunchy and almost tasted like shrimp and chicken.
And the boxes are too cute!

Multi-sectional moving coffin

Korea's charter bus game is strong. But...I cannot be the only one who feels like I am inside of a well-decorated multi-sectional coffin every time I travel to another city.

Seriously. There is glitter, colorful shades, neon lights and (of course) plenty of leg room. A perfect coffin, right? Now all we need is a preacher saying how much of an anger we were when we walked the earth. 

Korea, you need National Proofreaders, fa real.

Do you know how much money I could make if I worked for one of these companies that created all of these misspelled shirts? I would be rich and could quit my teacher's job.

Yo, if you know someone who knows someone who knows someone...hook a sista up.

Shake and shake

So I picked up this Kenya black tea from Homeplus. I have been looking for black tea bags for two weeks so I was happy to find this one. On Monday I made the mistake of drinking a cup before going to school then I left the bag in my cup. Just kept adding cool water and drinking from it for hours. Well, after a couple of hours, my hands were shaking, tears of laughter and sorrow wanted to flow and I could not keep still. 

Such a light weight, LOL. 
p.s. this tea is delicious. It is has a deep, rich taste. 

Take off that shirt!

That bus stop moment when you catch a quick glance at a brown face and words on a Korean teenager's shirt. You close your eyes and say a quick prayer. "God, please don't make me lose my job today. I only have five more loan payments. 
Please don't let that shirt say 
"#1 N@GGA" or 
"I❤N@GGAS" or 
"N@GGAS!❤N@GGAS!❤N@GGAS!❤" or 
"Dis my favorite N@GGA" or 
"I love chocolate, kimchi & N@GGAS". 
Opened my eyes, read the shirt with a sigh of relief. Whew! I get to keep my job today, thank you, God.