Monday, May 30, 2016

Deskwarming activities

Five classes on Tuesdays.

So this is what I am doing this afternoon during my deskwarming hours from 2.30 to 5pm. I should be lesson planning but I already know what to do with my classes this week. So I did this loose braid on one of my 4th grader's hair. I asked if she wanted me to take it down before she left school but she wanted her Mom to see it. Yup, this is how I pass my afternoon hours at school. Either watching movies, documentaries or spending time with my little ones when they visit my office for candy.

It actually looks good on her little head. I think the style is too grown for her though. Little girls should look like little girls.

Friday, May 27, 2016

This is my confession...

Confession time.


"This is my confession."
I am getting tired, y'all.

I think it started after the taxi cab incident. (Read KOREA). I have started looking for an online job to transition to once I leave Korea. So I applied for a job teaching English online through a company based in China. The application was submitted last week and less than one hour after I sent a video reading a paragraph in English, I received a rejection email.  My hair was pulled back and I was dressed in a business suit so it was not a question of professionalism. It pissed me off because I know that with years of business experience, a Master's degree in International Business and two years of teaching in So Ko, that I was overqualified but I applied anyway. I wanted to have a job in place while searching for a "real" job.  Well. THAT was shot down because of racism against my dark skin. Then this week a Chinese commercial came out where an Asian woman WASHES a Black dude to turn him into a white-skinned Asian guy...because of course, WHITE IS BETTER.

So...between the finger pointing, the staring, the jaw-dropping shock when I am seen in public...well...I am getting worn down. It is very difficult to have to continually justify your existence. Especially when there are millions and millions of people on Earth who look JUST LIKE ME.  When I am at school, it is okay because the students and staff are familiar with me and know me (in a limited way of course). But whenever I am out in public, either in my town or in another larger city...let's just say that I am getting tired of smiling through the racist and ignorant bullshit.

Part of the reason for feeling like this is because a lot of my friends have left Korea or are not available to hang out. My Korean chingoo, Julie, has moved to Australia for a year.  Jaime, who lived in Seoul, but who I spoke with five nights a week on kakao, moved to Vietnam to be with his girlfriend. Morgan moved from Suncheon to a city one hour away. Another friend has a military boyfriend and spends her time with him. Another Korean friend has a sick mother and is always "busy" with work.  My hospital chingoo, Ji Young, is studying for a certification and cannot be bothered.  The Jehovah Witness friend is always "busy". 

For the most part, Koreans are always "busy" until they have use for you.  I have learned that in twenty four months of living in this country. Whenever plans are made, I always make a second, back-up plan because most of the time they flake out on the appointment. I do NOT have a problem with this because now I know what to expect.  Cumulus and Miss Lee are the exceptions to this. They have always kept their promises to me and I have grown to really care about them as friends. If I was a heavy drinker, believe me, I would NOT be posting this. In every town there is a group of expats who meet two or three times a week and drink themselves silly. No thanks, not interested. I would rather eat buckets and buckets of ice cream and watch movies online in my pjs. 

I enjoy spending time with myself but, coming from a large family, I enjoy spending time with people I care about. But it is difficult to find that here and I am reluctant to try and meet new people after my friends have moved on to another chapter in their lives. 

I know it is time to go when the conversations that I have been having in my head here for the past two years turn bitter.  My tolerance is getting lower and lower everyday.  My anxiety has increased and I am staying in the house more and more every weekend. The isolation is getting to me but I am also self-isolating. Too many tears to even mention.

My friend, Jaime, who just moved to Vietnam three months ago, is loving his new adopted country. Last night he was telling me that the culture is WAY BETTER than the coldness here. He said that even though the infrastructure has to improve, the people are warmer and friendlier than Koreans. He says he does not get any stares and people engage with him rather than being awestruck at his existence. Well, I know that the grass is always greener on the other side of the passport. does sound nice after the coldness and isolation here. Right now ALL AVENUES ARE OPEN. LOL.

I have to decide my next steps because I do NOT want to become one of those bitter expats who b@tch and moan everyday instead of just leaving for another country. I will keep you posted. But for now my Asian cup is still half full.  

Always remember to be grateful!

Market day!

Market day in my town is so vibrantly beautiful!
Take a look at the rainbows below. The farmers bring their produce and various products into the downtown area to sell every five days. I LOVE walking through the market and feeling an amazing energy.

You can buy anything! Fruits, vegetables, seafood, clothes, shoes, trees are in the marketplace. The market goes to different towns on different days. So in my town the farmers come down on the 6th and for every five days after that. It feels great to have a "farmers' market" so close by.

Thank you, Mother Nature!

Can I have that on the side, please?

My chingoo, Teresa, was so helpful today! I asked her where I can buy Korean side dishes in our town. She showed me a place that ONLY SELLS SIDE DISHES! YAY!
I have been looking for such a place for over two years! I should have asked her a long time ago since she has lived here for over eight years.

Okay, so after I got home last night, I heated all the food and put it on my plate. It looked great...then I remembered that my stomach can not tolerate all of this food so late at night. UGH. But it looked so delicious, I dug in and ate most of it. Resources is EVERYTHING. I am so grateful for the good people I have met here.  Thanks, T!

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Korean make-over Day #5 Friday

Korean make-over Day #5 Friday

Today I wore an over-sized painter's shirt, black tank and (of course) tight, blue jeans. I love this look. It is very comfortable and more my style. The shirt flows with my swag and I love it.

I still got looks today but no comments. The more I am here the less I start to care about these vain people and this vain society. I wish they considered someone's heart instead of the label that is on their tag.

I will continue to try different styles until I find one that is comfortable for me. Even thought I live in this society, I do not have to let their vain ways change who I am.

Day #5

Okay so after the make-over I went and bought a few other shirts. I have a HORRIBLE habit of buying the same styles of clothes in different colors. I also picked up a couple of workout shirts. Cool! Now I just have to "work out"!