EJ Asare
5 years in South Korea
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In the middle of my life I decided to move to South Korea and become a best selling author. The American rat race had worn me out. It was time to shake off life's disappointments and dust off my youthful dreams.
I decided to self publish a children's picture book about diversity in Asia. The book, Joshua and Johnny, Coming to Korea (initial title), is about a brown boy and his pet bird who move from Ghana to Asia and their adjustment to living in South Korea. Living overseas allowed me the mental peace that was needed to remove my writer's block. I've lived in a slow countryside town in Korea for over five years. The town is peaceful, quiet and exactly what I needed after picking the corporate cotton in corporate America.
You see, for over twenty years I'd followed the rules. I graduated from a decent university, kept my mouth shut and worked at three fortune 500 companies for more than two decades before being, thankfully, laid off.
Right after graduating from Rutgers University, I ordered a Peace Corps application and was waiting for it to arrive. The commercials showed amazing people living interesting and fulfilling lives. I always knew there was something inside of me that refused to succumb to the normal life of work, sleep and pay bills. My soul screamed out for adventure in a new country. It was time to take the leap and fly away from my normal life. There was a big world out there and I was ready to explore it!
My dreams of changing the world by digging wells, building schools and learning about other cultures were paused when I agreed to attend a job fair where my girlfriend was working. She said she could get me into the well-known financial company...and she did. Sigh. I put the Peace Corps application away, in the back of a drawer, and purchased business attire. Instead of digging wells or building schools with my bare hands, I was assisting wealthy clients with their retirement assets. Instead of changing lives, I became another rat in the corporate race.
During those twenty years I did my best to pursue my personal and career goals, even though it was a second choice life. I married, bought a rental property and had children. My career was stagnant because my natural rebellious spirit would slip up occasionally and show itself within the rigid, soulless uniformity that the corporate plantation demands.
I was too much of myself to fit into what the slave system required. My soul hurt so much during those years. I butted heads with managers because, deep inside, I knew my truth was being suppressed. My left turn in life left my heart broken into pieces. I would cry before and after work. How did the other employees do it for so many years and not die inside?
In the middle of my life I decided to move to South Korea and become a best selling author. The American rat race had worn me out. It was time to shake off life's disappointments and dust off my youthful dreams.
I decided to self publish a children's picture book about diversity in Asia. The book, Joshua and Johnny, Coming to Korea (initial title), is about a brown boy and his pet bird who move from Ghana to Asia and their adjustment to living in South Korea. Living overseas allowed me the mental peace that was needed to remove my writer's block. I've lived in a slow countryside town in Korea for over five years. The town is peaceful, quiet and exactly what I needed after picking the corporate cotton in corporate America.
You see, for over twenty years I'd followed the rules. I graduated from a decent university, kept my mouth shut and worked at three fortune 500 companies for more than two decades before being, thankfully, laid off.
Right after graduating from Rutgers University, I ordered a Peace Corps application and was waiting for it to arrive. The commercials showed amazing people living interesting and fulfilling lives. I always knew there was something inside of me that refused to succumb to the normal life of work, sleep and pay bills. My soul screamed out for adventure in a new country. It was time to take the leap and fly away from my normal life. There was a big world out there and I was ready to explore it!
My dreams of changing the world by digging wells, building schools and learning about other cultures were paused when I agreed to attend a job fair where my girlfriend was working. She said she could get me into the well-known financial company...and she did. Sigh. I put the Peace Corps application away, in the back of a drawer, and purchased business attire. Instead of digging wells or building schools with my bare hands, I was assisting wealthy clients with their retirement assets. Instead of changing lives, I became another rat in the corporate race.
During those twenty years I did my best to pursue my personal and career goals, even though it was a second choice life. I married, bought a rental property and had children. My career was stagnant because my natural rebellious spirit would slip up occasionally and show itself within the rigid, soulless uniformity that the corporate plantation demands.
I was too much of myself to fit into what the slave system required. My soul hurt so much during those years. I butted heads with managers because, deep inside, I knew my truth was being suppressed. My left turn in life left my heart broken into pieces. I would cry before and after work. How did the other employees do it for so many years and not die inside?
Most of our parents have taught us to play it safe. My parents escaped Haiti's Duvalier dictatorship in the 1970s. When they had a chance to settle down in the United States and have safe jobs, they clung to the security. It was their goal to create a safe space for our family to grow and be educated. Because my parents sacrificed so much in their lives, they wanted our lives to be stable and more secure than their volatile upbringing. My parents didn't want us to have the same
financial struggles and worries. Every parent wants their children to have good lives. But a good life does not have to be a safe life with safe choices. It is okay to want financial and emotional stability but not at the price of your freedom.
You have to push your life goals even further than your parents. You have to decide for yourself- Do I want to survive or do I want to thrive? Surviving is getting up every day to commute to a job that you hate/dislike/tolerate in order to pay bills and have a few pennies to splurge every so often. Imagine doing that for thirty or forty years and then getting old. Is that the life you want for yourself? Do you want to die with regrets?
You have to push your life goals even further than your parents. You have to decide for yourself- Do I want to survive or do I want to thrive? Surviving is getting up every day to commute to a job that you hate/dislike/tolerate in order to pay bills and have a few pennies to splurge every so often. Imagine doing that for thirty or forty years and then getting old. Is that the life you want for yourself? Do you want to die with regrets?
Thriving, on the other hand, is choosing to become a butterfly. Becoming a butterfly means discovering what your passion, or purpose, in life is ...and following it. Being a butterfly will open up your boundaries and throw you out of that safe box.
When I finally made the decision to move overseas, to get out of that safe box, I started to feel free again.
It's huge decision to live overseas but it is an even bigger decision to make living overseas enhance your life. If you decide to live overseas, don't waste that time. Use that time to discover new things about the world and yourself. Use that time to reflect on your life, discover what makes you happy and brings joy to your heart. Then follow that inspiration to change your life's path.
There are two steps of bravery to living abroad.
When I finally made the decision to move overseas, to get out of that safe box, I started to feel free again.
It's huge decision to live overseas but it is an even bigger decision to make living overseas enhance your life. If you decide to live overseas, don't waste that time. Use that time to discover new things about the world and yourself. Use that time to reflect on your life, discover what makes you happy and brings joy to your heart. Then follow that inspiration to change your life's path.
There are two steps of bravery to living abroad.
The first step is making the decision to pack your stuff, let go of your housing, sell your car/bike and saying good-bye to your friends and family. Being able to get your foot on the airplane is the first brave step to living abroad. But it doesn't stop there.
The second brave step to living abroad requires you to actively choose to thrive in your adopted land. You have to decide never to give up no matter the situation. Living abroad requires you to live outside of your boundaries every day. You have to decide to allow yourself the freedom to grow and change so you can learn more about who you are and what makes your heart glow.
When you travel or live overseas, you are immediately forced into new and different situations and cultures. The food, people and language are all different.
Your safety net is gone and you must adjust. So your normal way of doing things will no longer apply. Your routine is gone and has to be replaced with new thoughts and actions.
Your safety net is gone and you must adjust. So your normal way of doing things will no longer apply. Your routine is gone and has to be replaced with new thoughts and actions.
Is it scary? Hell yeah. Was there fear in my heart when I decided to move to Korea? Hell yeah. But I knew that the conventional life of the rat race back home was not for me anymore. I'd given twenty years of my life to it and could not sacrifice anymore. I've had highs and lows living in Asia but I would not trade the experience for anything in the world.
Please, do not believe all the social media hype about living abroad. It is not all rainbows and unicorns. It won't fix what is broken within you. You can not run away from yourself. Whatever personal issues you have still has to be acknowledged, examined and healed. Living abroad will not fix your life just like winning the lottery won't make you happy. However, living abroad allows you the beautiful opportunity to grow, learn and become a better version of yourself.
Please, do not believe all the social media hype about living abroad. It is not all rainbows and unicorns. It won't fix what is broken within you. You can not run away from yourself. Whatever personal issues you have still has to be acknowledged, examined and healed. Living abroad will not fix your life just like winning the lottery won't make you happy. However, living abroad allows you the beautiful opportunity to grow, learn and become a better version of yourself.
You just have to decide to use that time and space well.
So let me ask you - how much more of your life will you waste doing something that you hate/dislike/tolerate before you choose to live differently? What will it take for you to start living your life out loud? It's okay to feel fear. It's even okay to allow the fear to make you hesitate. But it is not okay to allow the fear to stop you from becoming the butterfly you were always meant to be.
So, tell me, are you a butterfly?
EJ Asare is a wife and mother to three brilliant children. She lived in South Korea for five years. EJ has an undergraduate degree from Rutgers University and a master's degree from Saint Peter's University. Her popular self-published children's picture book "Josh and Johnny Coming to Korea" is based on her son and his pet parrot. She has a blog about living in South Korea, the highs and the lows.
So let me ask you - how much more of your life will you waste doing something that you hate/dislike/tolerate before you choose to live differently? What will it take for you to start living your life out loud? It's okay to feel fear. It's even okay to allow the fear to make you hesitate. But it is not okay to allow the fear to stop you from becoming the butterfly you were always meant to be.
So, tell me, are you a butterfly?
EJ Asare is a wife and mother to three brilliant children. She lived in South Korea for five years. EJ has an undergraduate degree from Rutgers University and a master's degree from Saint Peter's University. Her popular self-published children's picture book "Josh and Johnny Coming to Korea" is based on her son and his pet parrot. She has a blog about living in South Korea, the highs and the lows.
EJ Asare is a butterfly.
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