Monday, June 5, 2017

Tears of loneliness


It is 7am on a Tuesday morning. I am crying because I am sad and lonely. Today is a national holiday and there is so much to do...but no one to do it with. Even the restaurants have a minimum of two people to eat. I just spent the entire, two full days of my weekend alone, cleaning, doing laundry, watching movies, skyping with family/friends from back home...basically being alone and trying to keep busy. 

What people don't tell you about living here is that the loneliness is sometimes overwhelming. Sure it would be easy to meet up with some fake friends to hang out with. But in the middle of hanging out with them you STILL FEEL LONELY. So why even waste the energy to be around people who only want an audience or people who want a foreigner friend and always takes selfies of you two together to post - even after you say you are not in the mood for pics. 

So I stay alone and try to keep busy but on a holiday during the middle of the week, you actually want to do something. Sigh. Sorry for the rare pity party.

I just really, really miss being loved at this very moment. 

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